March 6, 2022 - Hope Integrated Health

What are values?

These are the character traits that are important to you, they are like guideposts in decision making and influence the way you interact with others. Knowing and clarifying your values helps you live in line with them especially when you are faced with difficult situations or tough choices. Not being aware of them will often result in some poor decisions and regrets down the track.

Values can shift and change depending on life stage and experiences. Therefore, people will have different values to others, there is no right and wrong here, only knowing what matters to you and why.

Knowing your values are an important factor in increasing confidence, as motivation for harder tasks in life and as guidance to your purpose in life.

Some good questions to ask when trying to determine your values are:

What do you enjoy?

What gets you fired up?

What inspires you?

What frustrates you?

What makes you feel strong emotions? Like anger or sadness or Joy

Who do you like to spend time with and why?

Below you’ll find a list of common core values as defined by Russ Harris. Try to choose, let’s say 5 values, that are close to your heart.

Choose an area of life (work/education, leisure, relationships, personal growth/health). Decide which values are V (Very important), Q (Quite important), or N (Not important) to you. Now, go through the ones you marked as V. Choose 3 (or more) that are most important to you. Write them out as a note to remind yourself that this is what you want to stand for as a human being in that domain of life.

Acceptance: to be open to and accepting of myself, others, and life.

Adventure: to be adventurous; to actively seek, create, or explore novel or stimulating experiences.

Assertiveness: to respectfully stand up for my rights and request what I want.

Authenticity: to be authentic, genuine, real; to be true to myself.

Beauty: to appreciate, create, nurture, or cultivate beauty in myself, others, and the environment.

Caring: to be caring towards myself, others, and the environment.

Challenge: to keep challenging myself to grow, learn, and improve.

Compassion: to act with kindness towards those who are suffering.

Connection: to engage fully in whatever I am doing and be fully Present with others.

Contribution: to contribute, help, assist, or make a positive difference to myself or others.

Conformity: to be respectful and obedient of rules and obligations.

Cooperation: to be cooperative and collaborative with others.

Courage: to be courageous or brave; to persist in the face of fear, threat, or difficulty.

Creativity: to be creative or innovative.

Curiosity: to be curious, open-minded, and interested; to explore and discover.

Encouragement: to encourage and reward behaviour that I value in myself or others.

Equality: to treat others as equal to myself.

Excitement: to seek, create, and engage in activities that are exciting, stimulating, or thrilling.

Fairness: to be fair to myself or others.

Fitness: to maintain or improve my fitness; to look after my physical and mental health and well-being.

Flexibility: to adjust and adapt readily to changing circumstances.

Freedom: to live freely; to choose how I live and behave or help others do likewise.

Friendliness: to be friendly, companionable, or agreeable towards others.

Forgiveness: to be forgiving towards myself or others.

Fun: to be fun-loving; to seek, create, and engage in fun-filled activities.

Generosity: to be generous, sharing and giving to myself or others.

Gratitude: to be grateful for and appreciative of the positive aspects of myself, others, and life.

Honesty: to be honest, truthful, and sincere with myself and others.

Humour: to see and appreciate the humorous side of life.

Humility: to be humble or modest; to let my achievements speak for themselves.

Industry: to be industrious, hard-working, and dedicated.

Independence: to be self-supportive and choose my own way of doing things.

Intimacy: to open up, reveal, and share myself- emotionally or physically in my close personal relationships.

Justice: to uphold justice and fairness.

Kindness: to be kind, compassionate, considerate, nurturing or caring towards myself or others.

Love: to act lovingly or affectionately towards myself or others.

Mindfulness: to be conscious of, open to, and curious about my here-and-now experience.

Order: to be orderly and organized.

Open-mindedness: to think things through, see things from others’ points of view and weigh evidence fairly.

Patience: to wait calmly for what I want.

Persistence: to continue resolutely, despite problems or difficulties.

Pleasure: to create and give pleasure to myself or others.

Power: to strongly influence or wield authority over others, e.g., taking charge, leading, and organizing.

Reciprocity: to build relationships in which there is a fair balance of giving and taking.

Respect: to be respectful towards myself or others; to be polite, considerate and  show positive regard.

Responsibility: to be responsible and accountable for my actions.

Romance: to be romantic; to display and express love or strong affection.

Safety: to secure, protect, or ensure safety of myself or others.

Self-awareness: to be aware of my own thoughts, feelings, and actions.

Self-care: to look after my health and well-being and get my needs met.

Self-development: to keep growing, advancing, or improving in knowledge, skills, character, or life experience.

Self-control: to act in accordance with my own ideals.

Sensuality: to create, explore, and enjoy experiences that stimulate the five senses.

Sexuality: to explore or express my sexuality.

Spirituality: to connect with things bigger than myself.

Skillfulness: to continually practice and improve my skills and apply myself fully when using them.

Supportiveness: to be supportive, helpful, encouraging, and available to myself or others

Trust: to be trustworthy; to be loyal, faithful, sincere, and reliable.

My Top 5 Values

Adapted from the list of values based on the work by Dr Russ Harris, Author of ACT made simple

“Values are like lighthouses; they are signals giving us direction, meaning and purpose” Recruiter Journal

When you have determined what your top five values may be, take some time to really think about them. Think about how you already live out those values and how you want to live out that value moving forward in life. When you are next going through something that is difficult or requires a decision reflect on your values and ask yourself. Which value do I want to apply here? Which value is important in this situation? What are some steps I need to take today to move in the direction of this value?

More info at

Goralewicz, Olga. (2021, Feb 15^th) “A full list of values for Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT): Loving Health.
https://loving.health/en/act-list-of-values/

All of us can develop thinking that is unhelpful and can keep us stuck where we are. It is often our thoughts that precedes our feelings and actions.

Learning how to recognise our thoughts, what they are and how they might be impacting on us is the first step in making changes.
We have tens of thousands of thoughts in a day, these are mostly negative or repetitive. Unless we stop, sit down, and write them down we may not see them clearly.

Next time you feel a negative emotion or sense a change in your body such as increased tension or butterflies in the stomach, stop and think about what you are thinking about.

There are many distorted thinking types that can lead to us feeling depressed, fearful or in conflict with others.

These include:

All or nothing thinking

When someone evaluates their personal qualities in extreme black or white categories. For example, someone is amazing and wonderful or evil and horrible. Usually, humans have some positive qualities and some negative attributes that they need to work on.

Labelling

Thinking it is possible and right to sum up an entire human being and their life in one word. For example, by applying one-word descriptions of people to ourselves or others e.g. I am a loser.

Catastrophising

Always thinking the worst, and that it is most likely going to happen to you e.g., Thoughts such as I won’t get this assignment done tonight leads to, I will fail the course, to I will end up homeless and destitute.

Discounting the positive

This is like having on a negative filter. The core belief maybe “I am incompetent and stupid”. The person will then focus on evidence that confirms the core belief and minimise anything that demonstrates the competence.

Emotional reasoning

Taking emotions as evidence of truth e.g., feeling hopeless and concluding that the problem is impossible to solve.

Jumping to conclusions

This is like mind reading or fortune telling. When someone doesn’t say hello the thoughts may come that they hate me.

Overgeneralisation

This is when you conclude that if one thing happened to you once it will happen repeatedly.

Polarization

Black and white thinking, eating a hamburger one day when you were trying to eat only healthy foods leads to the thought “there is no point in trying”

Personalisation

This is when you assume responsibility for a negative event when there is no evidence for doing so. You conclude it was your fault and it reflects your inadequacy, which can lead to experiences of shame.

Should statements

Too many should statements’, such as “I should exercise”, or “I should study” can lead to feelings of shame, guilt, and self-loathing.

The first step to overcoming unhelpful thinking patterns and becoming more balanced and flexible in your thinking, is to identify the thinking that is distorted.

Once you have looked at this, then begin to challenge those thoughts or change them. For example, instead of “I should exercise” change it to “I could exercise, however I do not want to right now as I have other things that I choose to do, and I will go for a walk at a better time”. It is a much more empowering and self-determined thought, don’t you think?

This thinking will become automatic over time the more you practice it, thanks to the neuroplasticity of the brain. If you need more help with overcoming and changing thinking that is harming, you and your life get in touch here.

For more info

Psych Central written by

Casbianca, Sandra Silva.(2022, Jan 10). “15 cognitive distortions to blame for negative thinking”: Psych Central

https://psychcentral.com/lib/cognitive-distortions-negative-thinking